Let’s start with a deeply disturbing — and oddly hilarious — hypothetical: What if a baby was raised in total isolation, like a weird experiment from a dystopian sci-fi flick? Provided with food, water, and physical care, but absolutely no human contact. No conversation, no facial expressions, nothing. Sounds like the ultimate introvert paradise, right? Hold that thought.
It’s all wildly unethical, obviously, but since this is all imaginary, let’s play along. Firstly, the child might never acquire language. Linguist Noam Chomsky pointed out that while humans are born with an innate capacity for language, it still needs interaction to be activated. Moreover, the child can face some cognitive issues such as difficulty with problem-solving and memory. He or she might not even show signs of empathy, trust or affection! Imagine being confused by a hug. It’s a psychological horror movie with no jump scares, just an empty crib.
This glimpse can really help us understand how important social relations are. How the people around us really affect who we are at our core. Since the day we were born, we have been picking up behavioural cues and actions from those near us, beginning from our parents and continuing to our friends, peers, teachers and so on. Ever found yourself refusing money from an elder relative during a festive blessing ceremony — even though your broke self really needed it? You probably saw your parents do it and copied them. Congrats, that’s observational learning. Thanks, Bandura.\
When you think about it, we are like water floating through life, taking on different shapes, colours and types depending on the situation and the people we interact with. Everything in us changes, from our body language, our attitudes and even the way we speak. It’s strange how we can sometimes shift into an entirely new version of ourselves in a matter of seconds – from being a friend to a daughter to a student to the thousands of roles we play.
And sometimes you can’t help but ask: who are you, really? Are you even real? Or are you just a puzzle made of borrowed pieces? A blank canvas splashed with colours you didn’t choose? Over time, this fluidity can lead us to wonder — if we change so easily depending on the situation, is there a fixed version of “me” underneath it all?
It’s a fair question. When we look closely, we may find that much of what we call a “personality” is a reflection — a collection of behaviors, preferences, and responses shaped by our environment. Does that make us less authentic? Not necessarily. Maybe identity isn’t a fixed core hidden under layers, maybe it’s something dynamic: flexible, responsive, and constantly evolving.
So yes, you might be a walking collage of everyone you’ve ever met. A little bit mom, a dash of your annoying but wise friend, maybe even a sprinkle of that barista who once told you to calm down. But here’s the thing: no one else has your exact blend. That mess of influences? That’s you — entirely original.
Being influenced by others doesn’t make you unoriginal. It just makes you… well, human. That’s how we learn. That’s how culture works. If people didn’t copy each other, we’d still be sitting in caves wondering what fire is. And while it’s true that most of our thoughts, opinions, and fashion choices are shaped by others (side eye to Pinterest), that doesn’t mean we don’t have individuality.
What makes you you isn’t that you’re completely untouched by influence. It’s how you combine all of it — like a playlist that somehow includes classical music, 2000s emo, and lofi beats to study to. It’s weird, but it works.
You’re not a copy-paste. You’re a remix.
Still, sometimes this whole realization can leave us spiraling a bit. You start wondering: Wait… is anything I do actually my choice? Or am I just quoting my friends, copying my favorite shows, and accidentally becoming my mother? Psychologist Alfred Adler called this an identity crisis. Instagram calls it a Tuesday.
But here’s the good news: questioning who you are is actually a sign that you’re on the right path. The goal isn’t to cancel everyone’s influence — it’s to figure out which parts you want to keep, and which ones you’d like to return to sender.
Identity isn’t something you stumble upon one day like lost car keys. It’s something you build — slowly, awkwardly, and sometimes accidentally. And while you’re shaping it, you’re allowed to be unsure. You’re allowed to change your mind. Most of us are still figuring it out too.
So maybe the real question isn’t “Am I even real?” but: “Am I building something that feels like mine?” Because even in a world full of borrowed quirks and secondhand catchphrases, the way you carry them? That’s 100% original.
(This article is written by Keya Jadav, an undergraduate Psychology student at Indraprastha college for women, Delhi University)
